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[personal profile] pyoor_excuse

The ongoing disasters that are the US and the UK seem to be continuing unabated.  As I watch the UK continue to debate the validity of my existence and the US continue to demonstrate that a large proportion of citizens want me to be gone,  or alternatively dead, I’m finding it harder and harder to remain positive about the future. 

We have reached the point where we’re actually making bigger spends on our house project (on top of the original big spend of buying the land). This week we’re paying the designer (I’m assuming he’s not an actual architect) which is a not insignificant chunk of our remaining money that we can’t get back if we suddenly have to flee the country. Which worryingly is not an impossible situation.  

In our state this week a Sikh man was shot for the mistake of being brown in the US.  And in various places people have been shot for being brown and foreign. And I know for many people of color this is just another normal day. And I sincerely apologize for not doing more to combat it before, although I’ve been pushing along nudging in my quiet British way. But still. Way below good enough. 
But to actually be concerned for my safety on a regular basis is, quite frankly, shit. To have that aching paranoia – should I be here? Should I stop here? Is that someone I need to avoid? Its exhausting.

And to do that while we try and make decisions about building ourselves a home? Well, it’s not great. Let’s put it that way. 

Originally published at Mostly lemon based. You can comment here or there.

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