Progressing

So, I rang BSA Regal and ordered the bits for my bikes; on the basis that I'd rather know that the Charlie's brake calliper is fixed (and the iffy master cylinder is okay) rather than leave dodgy brake bits in a box where they can shock me later. Fracknuts, I should have got some brakepads too. Although, that said, the ones on Charlie aren't that worn and could be slapped onto Cherry. Yes. Hrm. We'll ignore that problem for now.

That's 50 quid spent, 30 on Cherry and 20 on Charlie. Not too bad really. Just hope it all works, although given the ultimate bizarreness of the weather recently motorbikes look less fun, especially since my gear is about as waterproof as a paper bag, it's all up for renewal when I get paid, but hey.

I also rang the govt. dept that's been failing to sort out paperwork for me; they've extended the deadline again, but are getting a bit difficult about extending it. Given that it's *their* fault that the paperwork wasn't sent to the NHS in the first place; well; it feels a bit pot-kettle-black for them to say that the NHS is taking too long. Yes, it is, but if they'd've sent it when they said they had, then this'd've been sorted by now. I can't ring the NHS again, not yet anyhow.

I'm trying to get the nerve together to ring the hospital I want to work at. It's scary. I've half filled in their application form, I just want to have a chat with them about the jobs, and so on. I hate selling myself, I'm not good at it. Yesterday I managed to pay the house money bankers draft back into my account, and the money I withdrew from my credit card (yeah, I know) back into that (which was to pay auction fees).

It is again scary. I think moving up to B'ham or M'chester will be a good thing. It'll save me money, it's like a dry run for Canada - new place, new people, all that crap. Well, b'hams not a new place (it is, in a way, it's changed so much since I was there). I just like having certainty in my future; and that ain't what's there at the moment. I should get on, I've got my dissertation to write too.

International help Kate day

So, I'm filling in this exciting form to apply for a job. I'd like to send it off in the next couple of days; but I've been reminded how much I hate (really hate) application forms. Hell, application forms, interviews, everything.

So, if anyone has any suggestions for improvement on the following I'd be really grateful:

Prior to starting my training I worked for 15 months as a healthcare assistant in [Freds Magic Hospial]; this enabled me to gain experience of the hospital environment and of hands on patient care. I have continued throughout my training to work in this role as it provides a degree of continuity with ward work which is not provided by the nursing course. This has given me a good grounding in the interpersonal skills required to engage with patients; and to build a comprehensive and evidence based care programme with the client’s involvement. Maintaining this role has also granted me far greater ward experience than would normally be the case and as staff have been aware of my student status they have often made use of my skills.

In both roles I have worked in a wide variety of wards and departments (including trauma / orthopaedic, surgical, medical, gynecological, rehabilitation, accident & emergency, assessment and palliative care) spread across four different hospitals and also working in the community.

I will bring to the ward commitment and enthusiasm for the role, and an appreciation of the importance of team work in the delivery of high quality care. I am a friendly approachable individual with a good grasp of the limitations of my current knowledge and experience as a (soon to be) newly qualified nurse. [I think this should probably read as something about my opportunites to develop as a newly qualified staff nurse rather than my limitations (cheers Aisling!)]

I am a highly motivated individual, and am keen to both consolidate my knowledge and, over time, to develop as a nurse within a ward environment. I have particular interest in the needs of disadvantaged social and economic groups within the care process and in the provision of evidence based holistic care.

Failure

When I did my Biochem degree, I didn't really work as such. In fact, I barely worked at all. In fact, even implying that I worked might be inaccurate to an incredible degree. So I was used to failure. In fact, I felt a total failure most of the time, but I was depressed and I didn't really care about myself.

These days I'm a much more sane and happy bunny. Indeed, in general I'm a pretty happy individual, but not today, because today I got back the "I didn't get it" essay. I didn't get it when I handed it in, I didn't understand how an essay that was, as far as I could see, descriptive could include the extent of critical evaluation required to be a level 3 essay. Others, they did, I just couldn't grasp it. I still haven't entirely.

Unfortunately, phrases like "very descriptive" and "should have" are scattered through the non-marker's comments (because they're working to rule and not marking). I'm 95% certain I've failed this essay. Which is the first essay in 3 years which I've failed. It whines about me not including a private reflection, which I referenced correctly but didn't include (what with it being *private*. Fucking uni). But mostly I'm trying to summon the will power to look at it. The worst thing is that if I got 40% (i.e. just a pass) then I could disregard it, 'cos you get to disregard your lowest mark if you do the disseratation. But if I fail, then I've got to re-write it, but I'd still be limited, I think, to 40%. Fuck.

I'm obsessing about it too. I can't stop thinking about this stupid damn essay.

Ah, examining it makes me angry. That helps loads. Comments like "use reference more judiciously". After "Use available resources... (BNF, research articles)" it says "eg. read BNG, Nursing standard". How exactly does her fracking comment differ from mine? ARGH. Oh I hate this management fucking crap.