Pyoor's excuse for not working

So, my good friend Nikki rang me up after the last post, concerned that I sounded very down and wanting to check I was okay. She's kind and thoughtful like that.

So I thought I'd just say, I'm okay. It's perhaps a healthy dose of realism time. I've been sticking solidly to the "the house will sell for enough and we'll go to Canada" belief because of the options we've got it's my favourite. To use the house metaphore, it's the one I've built foundations for, I'd been looking at the plans and preparing to get contractors. It worked thusly:

Buy house
Fix house
Sell house, use funds thus obtained to enable us to
1) Go to Canada
2) Me to pay off *all* my debts
3) Have some savings to live off in Canada if it all goes pearshaped
And I'd added:
4) Hopefully have enough that some of those savings can be scooped off for our notional world trip in a few years time.

There wasn't really a plan B. I knew that the housing market was going to plummet in just the way that bricks do, I just hoped it did it after I'd (now) we'd sold. Unfortunately, my hopes lacked the strong foundations of reality.

The new 'plan', for want of a better word, is to finish the house (because whether we're living in it, or selling it, I'd rather like it not to niggle like a splinter. The unfinished floor in the lounge, the dirty old door* in our shiny new kitchen), get it valued and make the rest of the plan based on the outcome of that.

- Sell and get to Canada ASAP
- Sell and move somewhere else in the UK (I don't need to clear my debts to do that**)
- Enjoy the lovely environs of Slough.

I'm rooting for A, hoping that at worst B comes off and trying to think about ways to make C more bearable. Ironically, the house is coming together to be a really lovely place. The garden should be beautiful this year, and even more so next; there should be fruit and fresh veg, herbs and gorgeous flowers...

If it weren't for the builder's yard right behind it would be glorious*** .

Anyway, so I'm okay. I'm just.... disappointed.

In other news, I just realised that I've owned Rebecca 17 years. That was quite a shock. And in another quirky thing I've never noticed before; she was first registered on my mum's birthday. How bizzare is that? It's funny how coincidence pops up on you.

Now, What shall I do with this last hour before I go to work? I've swept the bedroom (and put clothes away), and looked depressingly at my Student Loan deferment thing (I think I may finally have to actually start paying back the loans****). Hrm, maybe I'll watch some Holmes on Holmes.

Tomorrow is another day, and I'm hoping a day when bits of DAF might turn up.



* Needs the 1960s hardboard overcoat taking off, then it needs stripping and painting.
** I don't, I suppose, technically need to clear my debts to move to Canada, but it really makes everything a lot more complicated if I don't. And it makes living much harder to do. It's bad enough here where I can go and chat and shuffle my lack of money around. There... well...
*** It *was*, when I moved in, a wild untended lot. It was pretty.
**** Confusingly my loans are owned by two separate companies. I'm not sure if I'll get two separate student-loan-deferment letters, and need to make payments to two separate companies. That would be distressing. But only one of them has been flagged as 'needing payment' in this letter. It appears I won't make my dream of never paying them back by remaining a poorly paid wage-slave.

If I don't get what I want done, and I imagine that it's a reasonable amount of work that I've set myself, I feel very negative about the things I did achieve. I feel like I should have worked on the Minor, but I know, logically, that I've never managed to get a decent seal on the LCB manifold without help. And therefore, what would have been the point? And had Jagdev have said 'yes, I can get the parts' when I rang then I'd've been stuck. On the other hand, when we hit mid-day I should have realised I'd not get the brake parts in time to fit and bleed them, so I should, maybe, have started work on the Minor.

At any rate, tomorrow I'll have to get up early and do the Minor. I can douse the connections on Jejy and Vixy in plusgas too, in the hope that when I come to try and remove them I'll actually manage to get them off in one piece.

Looking at the positives: While the radio is tatty, it is fitted. The parts I need are ordered and possibly even winging their way here. And I painted the kitchen window aperture (whatever it's called) with basecoat to cover the shite layer of paint and flakey plaster up at the top of the window and the not-great plastering I did on the left hand edge. Ready to paint, my arse.

As a side point, I've not heard back from the builders about the quote for new work or fixing the old work since their 'I'll ask such-and-such'. See, negative.

Kathryn can stay! We finally got the Visas back yesterday; well, visa. Kathryn's now allowed to stay here until we leave, unless that takes more than 2 years. I was incredibly relieved, since we're going on holiday in the not too distant future and need passports for that.

So that's good.

Also good, I had my eyetest today; in 5 years my eyes have hardly changed. In fact, one eye is exactly the same and one is so very slightly different they recommended no change in prescription. I also have no signs of macular degeneration - which is good - my mum's got very serious degeneration and I'm slightly worried about my eyesight (long term) but they checked it today my field of vision is hunky dory.

I will just have to take care of my eyes.

I was sat reading the contact lens sign and really want to go back to wearing lenses; but can't at the mo. If this allergy clinic does the Sublingual allergy treatment, that might mean I could, which would be awesome beans.

I was also good today for numerous reasons:
- I actually walked to town and back, rather than driving, despite it being cold.
- I sorted out my debts a bit. A very nice woman at the bank explained that there is a way to avoid early repayment charges on a loan, so my debt is now a loan. I must not take the credit cards with me anywhere.
- I didn't buy the Nikon D70s I saw. I'm even not buying it now, despite knowing it's quite a good price.
- On a smaller scale, I didn't buy lunch. I bought a drink ('cos I was thirsty after leaving uh...an hour earlier than I needed to (yes, I'm stupid sometimes)).
- I went and dropped off my prescription at the doctor's - so I should be able to get my new nose-spray on Monday.

I've also been good:
- Yesterday I fixed the car's exhaust. Well. Improved. Fixed might be an overstatement. It's now only fouling the suspension at extremes of travel. Having beaten crap out of the bit that you can't replace for about an hour I managed to move the 45 degree joint by about an inch and a half - a good chunk of the two inches I needed. I think it's leaking less now. Not quite sure how to get it that last half inch tho'.
- I got the iPaq working on the Mac. Well, technically it's working through Windows 2000 on VMWare on the MacBook. The GPS bit should work, and so before we go to Ireland I need to fork out for a new CF card for it - a much bigger one - then I can have Europe maps...and an MP3 player in the car again. That would rock my little world.

Also good:
Royksopp's new video. Many people seem to have missed this, and it's excellent.

Said my body at 4:45am. I'm not quite sure why, I think I was woken by my throat, and then my brain started listing all the things I need to do today. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) Kathryn said I wasn't to do anything that might upset my throat further - so my cunning plan to strip the paint on the door frames, and uh, paint them is off*.

I've still got a fair bit to get on with. When the frost's melted a bit I need to take jejy round to the tyre place, having found that the 'slow' puncture's got quicker, and that it's leaking from the valve. Now I can point and go "look, it's leaking from the valve; that's definately your fault, please fix it". I also am debating getting an external enclosure for my now spare SATA hard drive (what? why?!)...

Let me explain. I want to sell the G5 Mac. The G5 Mac currently sports 2 largish harddrives, a lot of memory, a 20" monitor, a 14" LCD monitor and so on. To sell it, I have two options:

1) Dump all my data onto and remove the second HDD.
2) Copy all my data onto the 500Gb ex-entertainment-Hackintosh drive in an external drive case and then nuke the two drives.

I think the latter is probably the better solution. Whilst it will cost 20 quid, it will probably add more than 20 quid to the value of the Mac, selling it with two big hard drives in. Mind you, if one of them is bigger than 500Gig it'll be being swapped around.

At any rate, I've been travelling in the DAF a lot recently, and it's come to my attention that the Radiomobile radio doesn't work...



It did work when we got the car, it stopped working a while ago, and has not spontaneously reanimated itself. But I rather like the look of it. Ratty and tatty though it is, it's part of the car's 1970s charm. The plasti-chrome is peeling and the volume knob turns on it's spindle. But I have a solution. Rip out its guts and throw them away.

I've finally found a cheapie company making (almost certainly lousy quality) automotive amplifiers (but you're in a car with no soundproofing to speak of). In fact, the one I've bid 75p for (but £9.99 shipping) also sports 2 inputs (but no means of switching between them, switches, presumably, are extra). But since I intend to gut the poor wee beastie, that's fine. I'm also hopefully going to get my grubby little hands on one of the Matsui DAB tuners. Back before I planned to move to Canada I debated buying one of these for the Minor. But they were 30 quid at the time.

Now, at a few quid second hand, they're tempting to again be the subject of my soldering iron. The plan is simple; gut the DAB tuner, gut the amplifier, make Radiomobile into DAB tuner. Leave socket for MP3/CD player. And lo, we'll have the perfect modern stereo in a 70s box.

Mind you, that's how it is in my head. How it'll work in practice is another question. The other thing I quite fancy, having driven the car a while now, is a small amount of illumination around the air vent controls and the hot/cold air selector sliders.

I usually end up waving my arms around under the dashboard to find them (when driving in the dark) so a little glowy white LED illuminating the up/down arrows seems quite tempting to me. And a little red/blue illumination on the hot air and cold air sliders also seems like quite a nice idea (potentially mounting them in a small piece of sanded perspex to diffuse the light). I'm slightly concerned she might look a little boy-racer though with the blue/red glow eminating from the dash, but at least I'd be able to control the temperature while driving without too much concentration. I'm also slightly concerned that I might get overly attached to Jejy. But hey.

This all comes about because I need to prepare Jejy to be Rebecca's temporary replacement while I fit the diff (when it arrives), the gearbox (when it's ready), the new swivel pins (when they're manufactured; if ever), trunions, poly-bush the front suspension, and repaint the damaged paint areas of the engine bay. Oh, and strip out the dash, find all the things that are rattling, stop them from doing so, clean out the heater, fit a new inline heater control valve (from a golf, apparently), and potentially convert her to Left Hand Drive (which involves moving the brake master cylinder and associated plumbing, remanufacturing the dash I made (otherwise the worry gauges will all be in front of the passenger), fitting the other gearbox front plate and somehow working out how to lock and unlock the passenger door from the outside), oh and ideally fitting a heated rear window that works, and in a perfect world sending off the speedo to be recalibrated, the revcounter to be reinternalised and the clock to be made to work (a car with a working clock! that'd be a novelty).

Just a short list of jobs...

So Jejy may have to do service for the minor for a while. Which is why I fancy a radio and a CD input.

Anyway, today I need to get my act together and sell the Mac, and possibly the Dell (although I doubt the dell is going to sell). And in aid of getting started, I shall now have my breakfast.

* Yes, yes, I know she's right, but it seemed like a good idea in my head :)

So, I spent today working in Resus. I am, not to put to finer point on it, exhausted. My alarm went off this morning and having hit snooze once, and then switched the alarm off, it took me a full 'nother 20 minutes to get out of the bed. I missed my shower, and was late setting off, but managed, thankfully, to get there on time. Of course, once there I remained tired. Perhaps doing the car the last two weekends in a row was not the most sensible plan.

Perhaps I do, at some point, need a break.

I have a spot on my head, under my hair. It's annoying.

I wish I'd had a shower.

Anyhow, having had an very busy shift in Resus I came home and lept on the car with all the enthusiasm I could muster. I wish I'd remembered what I learned last time was doing this - fundamentally that without a pipe expanding dooble it's really fracking difficult. However, in a few hours I've managed to knock up a temporary section of exhaust. Would have been a lot less had I have had a sharp blade in the hacksaw. It started out pretty good, but by the last cut on the last section of exhaust it was a bit laughable really.

It's not really any quieter, 'cos it's still got several holes in it (2, actually) but they're smaller holes than were in it before hand. I may go and get some exhaust repair bandage which'd shut it right up, or I could get a couple of jubillee clips and some metal from a can... ;)

Bodge? Me? To keep a car on the road? Never.

Anyway,

I'm going to stop now, because I'm really very tired.

So, the plan was to do the clutch on the DAF. This is, obviously a simple job...

1) Remove the bonnet, bumper and grille
2) Detach all electrics (including the solenoid on the carb, the coil, the ....)
3) Remove the air filter
4) Remove the exhaust and heat exchangers
5) Slip out the engine and clutch
6) Change the clutch
7) Put the whole darn lot back together.

Theoretically a weekend should have been enough. Hell, with enough light and it being warm enough it should have been done in a day. Unfortunately, mid way through day two (siezed bolts, the fact it was freezing yesterday) this bolt intervened:



It is actually impossible to reach with ordinary spanners, a 3/4" wrench or a 1/2" wrench (even with a UJ inserted into the mix). I'm contemplating a set of S-shaped spanners but I'm not sure I can even get it off with them. I'm suspecting that the answer is: Angle grind off old exhaust (which I suspect may have been badly welded), Replace. Put on new exhaust with S-spanners. Unfortunately this doesn't fit into the plan of having the car running tomorrow, or uh, any day this week.

It's very annoying to have been defeated by a single nut. Once that's off the engine can come out and we can attempt to change the clutch shoes, but until it's done we're stuck with a DAF on ramps with a tarp over the front on our drive. Not really what we had in mind.

On the plus side, we had a very, very nice dinner yesterday at Wagamamas in Windsor. And then came home and had a very nice evening at home :)

Also on the plus points, the minor's oil leak is now sorted, theoretically, and the heater while not pumping out heat is significantly warmer.

So, yes, sorry for the inconsiderate post-spam, but I've been so tired this last week that I've not been able to post anything. This has, of course, been annoying for me because most of the things I wanted to talk about have gone from my head. You've got one work related post, I think there were going to be four or so, but can't even recall what they were going to be about.
( And the spam continues... )

Anyhow, despite my desire to lie on this sofa and repeat yesterday's impressive TV feast* (I watched 6 episodes of Blackadder, and one of Homes under the Hammer), I really should get up and move and do stuff. What with the list getting longer by the day, and my effect on it so-far having been minimal.( Read more... )

Yesterday I engaged in shameless money grubbing, despite being exhausted I drove for an hour and a half after a revoltingly early wake up call, to go work in St. Marks Hospital for the Feverish and Sickly. I've done one shift there before - a night shift months ago - and bizzarely some of the staff were on again. And also somewhat confusingly we've had so many agency staff at the trust in which I work over the last few weeks that I knew a whole load of people who were at St. Marks yesterday - all of whom looked very confused when they realised I was out of my normal location. Not only that, but a member of the Ambulance Service who I thought seemed interesting, but never got around to working out how to say 'hi, shall we meet up for a coffee some-time'*, and who recently left our area to work closer to home, happened to be on duty too. So it was kind of like working in my own department.

I even knew how the system worked and were the drugs were... which was nice. It wasn't that harder day, although being one of the agency nurses I got shuffled from one place to another through the morning, ended up doing admission assessments, having my own bay, looking after an observation ward... It was all fine though.

Unfortunately, it has left me exhausted. The 3 hours of driving after how ever many days on shift has left me feeling drained. I slept in 'til nearly 10, which is incredibly unusual for me, and even now just ache. I need to sort out the exhaust on the mog, the front manifold of which is leaking like....well...something. Although I've asked (at long last) about the abandoned garage a couple of houses down, so if I've got access to that then that'd make all the jobs that need doing much more pleasant. Unfortunately, it also requires time; time which I don't currently have. ONe would think that you'd either have time or money, and though this month through a process of working a ridiculous number of extra shifts I'm able to actually look at my bank account and not wince, which is nice.

There may even be some to pay off the overwhelming debts that lurk on my credit card. And perhaps there's the possibilty that Charles Ware's Morris Minor centre might respond to my statement that I'm going to have to take them to court over the 'restoration' of Rebecca they did 7 years ago - in which case - the debt incurred fixing that restoration will be somewhat ameliorated.

Anyhow, I need to get on with doing Kathryn's present, the coffee doesn't seem to have kicked in in quite the way I'd hoped, but I am at least upright.

In other news I've sorted a place to sort the gearbox - so the new gearbox is off to them to be reconditioned (later today if I get off my arse) *and* I've got the clips to hold the trim in place on the DAF. Woo yeah!

* I'm always faintly worried that it'll (a) sound odd, particularly with the techs/paramedics because I barely know 'em, and (b) sound like some sort of come-on, when all I want to do is make some friends**
** Yes, I really suck at making friends.

So, despite the persistent sore throat (which has lead me to be worried about whether I got something icky in the small cut I found on my finger during one night shift (and hence whether I should have done an incident form and gone to occupational health); I have to remind myself that I had the sore throat *before* the cut, and therefore my paranoia should shut the f*ck up) we held a pretty darn spiffy Thanksgiving.

Nikki and Kate supplied turkey, James some truly delicious wine, and us the veg, the cooking space and the, uh, space. Our house isn't huge - but we managed to squeeze 5 around the table without too much difficulty - and thanks to Kathryn's careful scheduling the food all landed up being cooked and ready to eat at the right time. We had a traditional US dinner consisting of Turkey (one of the rare occasions we've cooked meat, although I let Nikki do all the prep ;) ), Sweet potato casserole, Sage Cornmeal biscuits (anyone know where you can get Cornmeal in the UK? We brought back an entire kg of it from the States - in our case), Home made stuffing spicy sausage and sage stuffing, Cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, Gravy, Wine, Schloer & Root Beer... and for desert, made with fresh pumpkin - Pumpkin pie with whipped cream / pseudocream.

It was a vast amount of food. We have, as is traditional, a fridge half-full of turkey. Yesterday Kathryn made one of our pet meals, Artichoke and Cheese Tart - but replaced some of the onion with... Turkey. Today I'm going to have a second slice of tart for lunch and some... Turkey :)

We attempted to fob off much Turkey on Nikki and Kate, and later on James, as well as some of the remaining produce from the Fried breakfast for the day following (Pancakes, Sausages/Beans/Hash Browns etc, which Nikki very generously cooked).

So much food!

It was a delight, though, to see everyone and have everyone here. I have new admiration for dog owners though. Pepper and Eddie occupied our house for one day - and very well behaved dogs they both are too - but the amount of hair and dirt they left behind is truly astonishing. Our venerable and aged Dyson DC01 wept tears of frustration as it attempted to suck and beat the hairs off the carpet*; and the sheer quantities of hair that we swept up in the kitchen - well - I am much impressed by those who keep dogs and keep their houses clean. I've no idea how you do it. I do, vaguely** recall that when living with Daisy there was an amazing amount of fur-deposits around the house, and that vacuuming was often a multi-bag-emptying job (with the then quite shiny DC02).

Anyhow, we spent the evening engaged in a War on Terror which - amazingly - we (the coalition of Nikki, James, Kathryn and I) beat down the terrorists (Kate - who managed to at one point have Terrorist cells in virtually every country). James wishes it to be known that while the Coalition won, he won the most*** ;)

Sunday, Kathryn and I had a fairly lazy day (apart from the hoovering, sweeping and laundry) leading in to a week of work in which my shifts are 'not great'. Two long days**** and two late shifts. This weekend just gone was the last and final weekend I get off until after Xmas - the only reason I have a weekend off then is to prepare for nights. And to ice the cake of awful shifts - Kathryn is off for two weeks over Christmas - Christmas week - which I'm working (except the weekend after) and New Year's week - which I'm on nights. The day she goes back to work is my first day off after nights.

Bloody fantastic that is :(

The only compensation is that while December is a 3 week month pay-wise and January a convenient 6 week month (urk!) then the pay I get in January should be less painful for it because I should get a bucketload of enhancements. Making it through the December / January months is always somewhat difficult. I am faintly tempted to move my pay straight into my savings account when it comes in, and give it back to myself just before Xmas (an idea which only just popped into my head).

And, can we all have our 'make it a nice day and Kate-be-well' heads on for Friday - 'cos 'beccamog really needs a service, and however much I try and put it off it's time and I should do it. Even if it's bloody freezing (like today :( ).

As a side point - changing your name is complicated as a Registered nurse - especially when people randomly say things like 'hey; your civil cermony certificate isn't signed' and you go 'oh, no it isn't, arse'. Virtually everyone's accepted it except NHS Professsionals, which makes it doubly complicated because my name on the Register has now changed. Anyhow, jobs to do today include faxing my statement of entry (from the Nursing and Midwifery Council) to all and sundry and also ringing Cumbria's Registrars and saying 'oi, should our Civil Partnership Certificate be signed'? 


* although I think its filters probably need changing again - what with us having had builders in and much dust being sucked through the poor benighted object.

** all too well, actually

*** Having all of North and South America under his control

**** Sort of my choice.

So, it's been a bit of a busy week and posting (while it's been in my head) has been a bit of a not-happening-thing.

Amazingly, on Tuesday Jonathon at JLH informed me that Rebecca was (or would be) ready to pick up that evening. Sporting a new MOT, and despite the gearbox sounding like a blender filled with spanners, all the work that was paid for and asked for was done, with the exception of a few piddly jobs. I chatted with Kathryn and we decided to head up after work on Wednesday and bring Rebecca back to the fold.

We flew up there on Wednesday, the trains being amazingly good to us (although Virgin had double booked our seats, but we found a pair together elsewhere on the train); and the timetable's incredibly irritating, because you arrive from the FGW train in Reading just after the previous Leamington Spa Virgin train service has left, so all the staff go 'oh, platform...no, sorry, you've just missed that one'...

Having got there we were met at the station by Jonathon (who really is terribly nice), who also kept us entertained with tea while we waited for Rebecca to make her way back from the engine-place. She'd gone back there because she'd sucked up a bunch of crap from the petrol tank and wasn't idling very well. Carb cleaned out (and apparently 'could do with a rebuild', *sigh*); she returned. She sounds *fabulous*.

I've missed that A+ series engine. It doesn't clatter musically the way the A series did (mind you, all my engines have been pretty worn out), and is apparently now developing a shocking 75bhp, approx. ISTR that it was originally rated at around 56 or 65bhp, but I doubt that the A+ I had was developing more than around 50 or possibly 40. It was pretty sick. And by the time we got up there, probably around 30 :)

Anyhow, she sounds lovely, and quite sporty. But, in the way that's traditional, Jonathon reckoned that they cold just pop the new heater control valve on, so we'd not cook on the way home. That 15 minute job took a couple of hours (waiting for the car to cool down, tap not fitting, different tap not fitting, studs going in, coming out...) - and when we finally went to leave, just as they'd locked up the garage and the gate they realised that Jonathon's car had a flat tyre... and Jonathon was leading us to the nearest local petrol station...

We finally started making our way home at about 2100... And finally got home, having not eaten dinner, just after 2300. I fell into bed and then had to get up at 0500, to get to work. But it was nice, driving the minor. The reason the journey home took that long is we have to run in the engine. People don't seem to bother (or know) about running in engines anymore. But having just forked out a grand for an engine I'm going to give it lots of love; so I've been good about not taking it far over 45mph (I've not even hit 50 - as 45 was the limit that was proscribed by the engine builder).

Apart from the sidelights stopping working (ack! turned out to be a corroded fuse) and the starter motor jamming on (and not working once, I think I need a new solenoid), it's been trauma free. And I'll tell you something, she's darn nippy. Roundabouts in particular are standard-suspension-pushing.

But one of the *bestest* things about having Rebecca back (apart from the stupid grin it puts on my face) is that we took her to my mum's house at the weekend - and drove my mum to her wedding. Paint all washed and shiny (at least in quite a few places - particularly the back where she's been painted, the roof which they 'mopped' and the bonnet which they seem to have also polished), sporting a cream ribbon (which Kathryn went and got, 'cos she's a *star*), we carried my mum to and her and her new hubbie from her wedding; which felt quite fun.

The wedding itself was really beautiful. It was a small affair, my mum and Paramito invited only close family and a few friends; in all I think there were 10 or so people. The Register Office in Newbury is really grand - it's a huge old Edwardian manor, and is quite beautiful. It's just a shame that you only get a few seconds for photos - but James - who is also an awesome friend - came and took photos of the wedding.

The rain even stopped long enough for M&P to be photo'd outside. It started again as we did the group shots...

Once we got back to the house, and everyone was being fed by my mum (who remains a truly awesome cook) the weather cleared completely and we spent the afternoon and evening hanging around outside in the sun.

Then Sunday we hurtled (for very low speed values of hurtling) back home, tidied and greeted Ali and Kris - two of my friends who Kathryn'd never met and I'd not seen for 2 years! We had a fairly chilled afternoon just sat chatting. There was a lot of catching up to do, and it was just really good to see them. With all my friends being so far away (well, um, 45 minutes in their case *embarassed*) it's sometimes easy to forget how generally awesome they are.

We then spent the evening doing a wedding gift list. We'd not been really intending to do one - on the basis that there's not much we *need*. But the requests came in for one; so we sat down and worked out things that'd be useful, or that we want, but that aren't insanely expensive. Annoyingly Ikea have no gift-list system, and their gift-card system is a non-online one. What planet are they on?!

*le sigh*

Finally, today's been spent working on the house; well, more accurately it was spent at work, then in the supermarket, then working on the house. As it's now ten to 12, I think it's time for me to head to bed...I've run out of plaster and the wall is as smooth as I can manage in my tired state :-/