Post Spam: More thoughts

[pyoor_excuse]

So, with me taking the DAF more days than not last week I had plenty of time for contemplation on my journeys - the DAF having no working Radio (she came with one, it just, somewhat unfortunately, died).

The Canada plan had been troubling me not because I'd any less desire to do it, but my cunning plan of funding the move by selling the vastly more valuable house (having done it up and added central heating and so on), and skipping all the way to Canada on tens of thousands of ill-gotten gains has somewhat vaporised. The house is probably worth more money than I/we've put in; or at least, it will be when it's all finished and painted, and when the standard of finish can be shown off.

But it's unlikely to do what I hoped, which is to give a big chunk of cash on which we'd be able to live and sort out where we want to live in Canada, and to give me those ever elusive 'savings' of which I've heard so much about.

I've found out that, apparently, I'm actually in-line for some inheritance from the death of my Grandparents. This is somewhat of a surprise. I've no idea how much; it could be £3.50, £3500, or £35,000. I don't know whether it'll help sort out the financial situation I find myself in; and clear the decks which'd make me feel more hopeful about fleeing this place.

It is terrifying for me though; the idea of ripping up my life, small as it is, and moving it, roots and all to another country. I know my mum did it before me, and Kathryn's here in this foreign (to her) land. I know Kathryn will look after me, and hold my fear in a bright shiny ball that I can gaze on and see it's beauty, but it's still scary.

I've spent 30 years in this land of rain, semi-detachment and knowing how it works. Knowing that if I don't know, I know who to ask. And suddenly I find myself with this idea of being in a land where I won't know how any of it works. Where I'll be the foreigner, and where my very Englishness will make me stand out.

What does scare me is I don't fit in here. I am quirky and strange, and I don't think people quite know what to do with me. Apart from my friends. I don't readily fit into a pigoen hole, and I don't want to end up without the freindships I managed to make here.

Anyway. Thoughts.

In other news: the Ent Mac contained more dust than it should've. I spent some time with the Air Duster cleaning it out, it's now substantially less dusty. It's open, at the moment, as it's copying the contents of the drive 'Baird' to the new drive 'Baird' (can y'guess where the TV/Videos are stored?). I didn't realise it boots of a PATA drive.

Incidentally, PCWorld: No SATA cables?! WTF? They are a PC shop. *rolls eyes*. Did play with a MacBook though. It was shiny. I think I'd want a matt screen though, which is a bugger. I find it hard to imagine spending the cash on such a thing. But there y'go.

Continuing to enjoy Danielle ate the sandwich and have added the Ting Tings and VV Brown to the list.

Comments

[howlsthunder.livejournal.com]

well, if Canada doesn't work out, there's always Alaska - you fit in brilliant here. :D After all, most of our non-native population is made up of eccentrics who came here for adventure and to be themselves. Or to escape the law, but that's a different story. ;)

[loopback0.livejournal.com]

I'm sure that wherever you end up you'll do just fine. A lot of that is having an understanding partner on the same wavelength. I've found that with Chrissy, and I've got a good feeling about you and Kathryn. If you are anything like me, then you probably aren't going to fit in with the mainstream anywhere outside of Arkham Asylum, but with that support you can find a group of eccentrics and assorted nuts wherever you are ;)

That said, in the UK we do eccentricity as part of the national image, and we'd miss you both if you headed off to Canada. Even though we've managed not seen that much of you over the past year, it's kind of heartening to know there are kindred spirits just down the road.

While we don't have the close knit gang we did in Bristol, we are all only a matter of a quick drive from each other, and theres some support in that, so I can understand the difficulty in moving to another country. Surely both Kathryn and your mum can give you some help on that front? They know what it's like to move away and find another group of friends/wierdos/nutters :)

[pyoor_excuse]

Well, Kathryn's friends are lovely/wonderful and also strange/quirky/geeky, and they made me very welcome while I was there, so that's a good start. But I do worry that I've lived in Slough 2 years and not met anyone else (socially) who lives here....

But yes, I shall miss my friends here...

[pyoor_excuse]

*grins* Alaska is the pretty. And the big.

...

...

And doesn't have public healthcare (boo).

Also Kathryn likes warmth. Me, I'm happy just so long as I can get a block heater for the minor ;)

[afro76.livejournal.com]

Yes: moving to another country is hard, even if you don't fit in "at home" and even if the environment you're moving to is ostensibly similar to the one you're leaving (same language, similar customs, etc.). I know this from first-hand experience as I moved from the UK to the US to pursue my career almost 7 years ago (eek! is it really that long?!).

As a mod langs graduate, I had previously lived abroad (France and Spain) for a total of 2 years, but on each occasion I had a structured routine, a ready-made social circle composed of other language students and, at the end of the day, I always knew that I would be going back home at the end of each year.

This experience has been different. When I left London, I didn't know how long I'd be away. And I still don't. I'd assumed (wrongly, as it turned out!) that I'd acclimatise pretty quickly to the American way of life because, after all, it is a British colony ;-) No, seriously, I guess I didn't see further than the shared language aspect. It later became clear that, as famously remarked by George Bernard Shaw, England and America are two countries separated by a common language! It also took a while to get a handle on the different ways of doing things (like renting an apartment, buying clothes, using public transport, etc.), but most of the time the learning experience was fun.

And I came here alone. I didn't know anyone. Whereas you will have Kathryn. That will make a huge difference. And people will be intrigued by you because you are "foreign". Take it from me. It can be annoying but also useful.

The hardest thing about being here is missing the friends I left behind. But it is also true that distance makes the heart grow fonder, and I have certainly discovered who my true friends are. It's also fun to be the one living an 'exotic' life in a faraway location - it means that your friends will want to come and visit and discover your new surroundings. I love that.

So, not to put a finer point on it, it's normal to be apprehensive and to worry about fitting in. But it's also a great opportunity. And you (and Kathryn) are really brave to pursue it.

[howlsthunder.livejournal.com]

Also Kathryn likes warmth

Chhht! We have hot springs!!! :D

I wanna meet her someday. At least if you're on the same continent we can road trip and see one another. ;)

[pyoor_excuse]

Aye, and I want to take the Minor road tripping. Minor's were built for snow!*



* Actually, they weren't**.
** But they're fairly good in it, surprisingly***
*** But not quite as good as the DAF, it seem****
**** The variomatic drive apparently behaves like a limited slip diff.

[pyoor_excuse]

I don't imagine that I'll acclimatise that quickly to a different way of life - having watched two Americans acclimatising to the UK. I expect to find things quite challenging, and coming from a health service that's desparately poor, where nurses cover many of what used to be Doctor's jobs, I'm told that in other countries that isn't so much the case which will also be weird for me. I do worry that I've got quite a lot of independence in my job role, and quite a lot of expectation and wonder how that'll work in canadian healthcare.

I suspect I'll be amused, interested and at times frustrated by the way things work. I'll miss the BBC... and get unnerved by how much advertising there is.

But my biggest worry is ending up totally isolated over there. It's unlikely, because Kathryn has her friends not far away. But then, I've hardly seen my friends here in the last year; not because I don't want to, but just because my time's been taken up with work. But how much of a difference it makes knowing that I *could* see them... I don't know.