Life, the universe and nothing
Jul. 26th, 2004 11:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pyoor_excuseI think I'm lonely. Okay, I know I'm lonely.
I need to make friends.... but I'm not very good at that, and as my ex, and really good friend is about to move 200 miles away, I feel jealous and frustrated, and angry, and lonely. I have few enough friends without those I do have buggering off.
Yeah, yeah, should be happy for her, yeah, yeah, blah.
I'm just lonely.
And I think that being alone, when I'm such a sociable person needing kind of person, well, it makes everything else for me about ten times worse. All the stuff I can normally cope with, when I'm feeling particularly lonely, it gets worse. And having a nice party (more of a BBQ with music), well, it's kind of done that to me. I remember that I *used* to have friends.
I *used* to have more than one person to go out with, or stay in with, or go to the cinema with.
But now, now I've got Lauren and John. This is not to put Lauren and John down, but I live with Lauren and John doesn't entirely have the same taste in films or music as me. And going to the pub? Not John's thing. So I can go out.... but only with someone I spend all my free time with.
It sucks.
I need to go out and make friends, but I have no idea how to. Argh. I've regressed 3 years.
I do now how to, I'm just.... it's just hard. And now I have 6 miserable weeks of being on my own to look forward to. Do not expect great wodges of happiness and joy.
Anyway, I should go to bed, since I need to be up at half 5.
I need to make friends.... but I'm not very good at that, and as my ex, and really good friend is about to move 200 miles away, I feel jealous and frustrated, and angry, and lonely. I have few enough friends without those I do have buggering off.
Yeah, yeah, should be happy for her, yeah, yeah, blah.
I'm just lonely.
And I think that being alone, when I'm such a sociable person needing kind of person, well, it makes everything else for me about ten times worse. All the stuff I can normally cope with, when I'm feeling particularly lonely, it gets worse. And having a nice party (more of a BBQ with music), well, it's kind of done that to me. I remember that I *used* to have friends.
I *used* to have more than one person to go out with, or stay in with, or go to the cinema with.
But now, now I've got Lauren and John. This is not to put Lauren and John down, but I live with Lauren and John doesn't entirely have the same taste in films or music as me. And going to the pub? Not John's thing. So I can go out.... but only with someone I spend all my free time with.
It sucks.
I need to go out and make friends, but I have no idea how to. Argh. I've regressed 3 years.
I do now how to, I'm just.... it's just hard. And now I have 6 miserable weeks of being on my own to look forward to. Do not expect great wodges of happiness and joy.
Anyway, I should go to bed, since I need to be up at half 5.
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 07:34 am (UTC)You are cordially invited
Date: 2004-07-27 07:53 am (UTC)K and I would love to see you again :)
And we're sorry about the party. Damn cold :(
(Which I now have caught off K)
Hugs
Re: You are cordially invited
Date: 2004-07-28 08:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-28 08:38 am (UTC)Next time, yeah? You promise? You need to come and see the new house....