It's 8:33 in Vancovuer

[pyoor_excuse]

You know when you're having a sucky day... it's when some 80 year old biddy (and yes, I mean that in the most derogatory sense I can come up with) accosts you when you park.

Let's just make this clear, I didn't park outside her house, I parked on a street with no parking regulations on it whatsoever. I parked within an inch of the kerb at both front and rear. I left plenty of space for the driveway behind, such that any person with even half an ounce of driving skill should be able to successfully drive out of it.

Having done this, I was accosted by said biddy who told me I was 'a bugger' for parking there, and 'at least I'd not parked as badly as the person in front'... She then went on to complain about how the hospital staff at the RUH *dare* to park on *her* road, and how it was appauling, and how she was "more important" than me because she had to "go out and buy a paper". Oh my dear god! Had I but realised she needed to buy a paper then I'd not even have considered parking on the road she so clearly pays for the whole entirety of.

Part of the reason I'm so ranty about this is because I was later than intended (or only just going to make it on time if I was quick) so I didn't have time to beat her with a stupid stick until she fucked off. It's really annoying. We live right by a railway station, and yes, our road is sometimes jammed full of cars. But somehow we cope. If you live one road away from a hospital with inadequate staff parking in a city country with crap public transport then you just learn to put up with this stuff. Pissing off every passing individual is not the way to deal with it. If it wasn't further away from the hospital than I normally park I'd be sorely tempted to park outside her house every fracking day just to wind her up.


Then I got to my Work Based Learning Day. Last night, as you might have noticed, I wasn't in the best of moods. I was feeling lonely and not just a little down. So I stayed up chatting to people; this meant that this morning I was very very tired. Possibly even outright exhausted. I got to my WBLD and I got there on time.

However, I wasn't feeling very chatty and didn't have anything to greatly add in terms of 'reflection' - I reflect quite nicely by myself thankyouverymuch. If I've got something to share, I will, but I'm not just going to ramble for the sake of it. So the break approaches and people are leaving and the facilitator, who by some unfortunate freak of bad luck ended up sat next to me, turns to me and says "You're very quiet today", to which I said "Yeah, generally am", because, frankly I didn't feel like expanding on it to which she said "I'll have to pick on you when I get back" (the phrase 'pick on you' was definately in there).

Given my whole history of being bullied and what I went through when I first started at university this time round (the place feeling like a school, me feeling incredibly uncomfortable to the point of distress (predates this itteration of my journal, if anyone's desparately interested I'll see if I can fish it out of my old GreyMatter journal)) and my general mood today it was *really* not what I wanted to hear.

I don't *like* her, to be honest. I'm sure she's a great person but she doesn't tally with my whole opinion of how WBLDs should work, and I feel like she's overly critical of people in the group's opinions. For a facilitator she damn sure seems to go that step further into leadership. And I know we're a weak and wooly group who kind of need leadership. But... yeah... anyway. Enough ranting.

I just really didn't need it.

Anyway, I've got home and failed to do anything. Work? No. E-mail? No. Going to see if I could find that wood I wanted to make frames out of? No. Bloody useless tart I am - at least, I can be. Where's my energy gone today? Anyway, in the realms of not working, the L-Word S3E3 has arrived, so I'll watch that I think :-)

Comments

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

Old people today, they just don't have any manners you know? When I was an old person we would respect our youngers and not have automatic contempt for them and we would try not to hobble in the way of them. Tsk.

;)

Now it's 1:17pm in Vancouver

[rocketqueen20.livejournal.com]

I get picked on for being quiet too and often get annoyed because nursing instructors seem determined to make us all emote and give insightful reflextions at every session. Usually I just ask "insightful" questions which seems to satisfy them and stop them from picking on me, maybe that will work for you? Actually I found university incredibly stressful too, my parents forced me not to go to my community college and move 6 hours away where I knew NO ONE and now I'm the youngest student out of 60 because I got held back and put in with older students. I wouldn't mind reading about the troubles you had when first came to university actually if you really don't mind digging it out. We seem to have a lot in common, I hope that you have a better day tomorrow :).

Re: Now it's 1:17pm in Vancouver

[pyoor_excuse]

I don't actually seem to have any diary entries from about the third day of uni 'til the start of the new LJ. I have a feeling that when my server (pyoor.org) went down (I moved house to somewhere where I could no longer have my own hosting) I did entries soley in my old LJ. Then I decided I wanted to 'friends' the entire thing. Then I realised I couldn't. So I... deleted it.

Without twigging that I'd loose a bunch of entries :-/

Basically though, the place I'm at uni at is a converted 19th century mental institution and like a lot of municipal buildings of the era it was built to a fairly common style of design - which means it looks a lot like the place I went to school - not *exactly* in fact, from the outside not at all. But the whole air of the place zapped me straight back to be 13 years old and scared to walk round the corners.

I just - psychologically at least - hated it. And I'm not good at big crowds; it's bizzare - at work I appear like this big sociable friendly cheery person, which is kind of how I am with people I know. But with people I don't know outside work I just want to curl in a ball and hide in a corner. I've never worked out why. Well, if there's more than one or two, I've recently worked up to still being chatty and friendly with 4 people in a group. This is progress, believe me.

Anyway, I'm also dyke central. Although I can be pretty femmy when I want, and I do sometimes want, I generally fall on the butch side of the fence - motorbike riding, oil covered (not like that), out and not-proud-but-it's-just-the-way-I-am, IT Lovin', Queer, history in the sciences, Dyke. And suddenly I'm in an environment where that's not... the norm. Nor is there anyone else (that I've met) who is remotely interested in similar stuff.

So I was hideously uncomfortable, generally. And although there were some lasses who were perfectly nice, I just had nothing in common - and it was just... gah, I dunno. Nothing was really bad at Uni, I just never clicked. Or the people who I might have clicked with - because I switched to the Bath group after I started uni - so then I lost contact with the vague friends I'd made and joined a group of people who were really nice, but I'm just too damn quiet to make good friends in a already existing group.

So, yes, I've gone through 3 years of Uni, and though there's people there I definately like, there's no-one I really am close to - I'm getting to know Natasha a bit better, 'cos we're on the same ward. But I don't know they'd really notice if I wasn't there anymore y'know?