I probably shouldn't do this

[pyoor_excuse]

But, y'know, I like to post when I'm on nights. I think rambling incessantly into the night makes me feel less lonely, because I miss Kathryn like crazy these weeks.

I sit up here, late into the night on this first night, trying to make it to 3am when if I fall into bed I'm likely to sleep to some reasonably late hour tomorrow. Although I need to go to the chemist. But ignoring that...

I have been stuck on Canada again. Which is funny. Because nothing's set it off, as far as I'm aware. It just popped into my head, unbidden, like some kind of booby-trapped meme. An ambush hidden in a thought process.

I was watching Grand Designs (S09E03, the Welsh Folly), and suddenly found myself desperate to be away. Interesting side point: well, there might have been one thirty seconds ago, but as a marker of how tired I am, I wrote 'Interesting Side Point', looked at 'Family Centred Care in A&E', came back, and have no idea what the interesting side point was. I guess it can't have been that interesting.

Anyway, we're stuck in Slough for a while; months, we hope, not any longer, but I am forced to consider whether I should do a 'critical care course' at work. I've been told I should go for it - but I have no idea if I should. I barely make enough to cover my bills every month - if I suddenly add 'working more time on a course' then my 'time with Kathryn' goes down. And then there's the risk that I might be off in Canada before I finish (or even, potentially, start) the course. So I need to check if I shove off - can they demand the money back?

Ironically, I want to do the course, I just don't want to do it here or potentially now. It's one of those things which would be an excellent course, which would really improve my knowledge base, which is hard work, which would give me better skills to use in my job and make me a better nurse. But I don't want to stay here to do it.

Sigh

But the question lurks in my head; should I apply just in case it all goes a bit Pete Tong?

...and there's an interview too. Geeze. I don't know if I want to subject myself to that.

Anyway.

complete change of subject
I am reminded, today, that the one big thing I'm going to miss from the UK when we do go is Friends and Family. Yesterday Chrissy and Lauren came down, and we spent a very pleasant day chatting and playing games*. Despite the fact I missed my mum's birthday this year (yes, flay me alive and send me to Slough...oh, already there), I don't normally do that, and I will desperately miss my mum.

I wish we could just get on with moving, and with life, because this hanging around here is driving me gently nuts.

Incidentally, we put up the bookshelves in the kitchen, and they look awesome. We only got them up about half an hour before Chrissy and Lauren turned up...but that's just the way it is sometimes...

Incidentally, watched Dollhouse, very impressed with how they (and particularly Eliza Dushku) make(s) you care for a character who changes in each and every episode. Also very impressed with the show as a whole. Joss Whedon does seem to be incredibly talented.

Also watched BSG - and am very sad... P'raps that is the subconscious origin of my contemplation of it being time to move on.



* Including the atrociously awful Buffy the Vampire Slayer game. It appears to have a small novel's worth of rules, each of which adds another incredible layer of complexity, or so it seems, until you start playing it when you realise that the complexity is entirely there to transiently obscure the fact that it is, essentially, random. It's basically like playing snakes and ladders; luck decides who's going to win, and only 2 players in the game have a chance of winning, realistically. It was funny though, and imbibed Trivial Pursuit** with potential extra moves involving fate-cards and challenging other players. We also played Things in a Box - this is the first time I've played it with not-that-many people and it suffers. It was fun, but it needs more people.

** Our edition of Trivial Pursuit is from the 1980s and this makes the game extra-specially challenging. Did you know that Bob Paisley received the Milk Cup (at Wembley, I think) in 1983? Do you know who Bob Paisley is? I do now, because we looked it up. Still. It's fun all the same :)

Comments

[wibble-puppy.livejournal.com]

Dear lord, I hadn't realised you are living in SLOUGH. Get out! Get out! No wonder you so urgently want to move to somewhere beautiful and civilised.

My gut feeling about the course, reading what you say about it, is that it should wait till you move. If you register for it now it's going to be a potential source of stress wondering about the possible financial penalties if you don't complete it, and about what happens if you move in the middle of it; and enrolling for it is creating another tie to a place which you want to move on from as soon as possible. Just my impressions.

Glad you had a good day with Chrissy and Lauren :)

[pyoor_excuse]

It's funny, I visited Slough to look at the house (and the house is great, it is developing into a really lovely place, just like it was in my head), and looked around and thought:

'There's not much here but there's all the basic shops and I'm only 20 minutes from London and not that far from Oxford, it shouldn't be too bad living in Slough'.

...I've lived in the middle of no-where, where there was nothing. My mum's village has a pub, that's it. And I've lived in another New Town where if you wanted anything much you went into London, but despite being a New Town, when I was there, it still had a little street of independent and quirky shops.

The big problem with Slough is it has nothing. While there are 'independent' shops they are all Polish or Indian foodmarkets. There's no cafes, no little bookshops, no quirky little stores selling expensive tat; there's no arts projects*, there's no...soul.

And it's soul-destroying. It wouldn't be so bad if we could afford to go to London regularly, because we could escape the place, but we're both broke (yes, yes, I know laptop, but discounting my one big-personal-expense** in the last 5 years) so going to London isn't within our budget (and we have to take the car, too, because if we go on a Friday there's no late trains back...

Previously when I lived somewhere with nothing, at least it was pretty, but Slough appears to do it's best to gut anything with any kind of interesting or old structure...

Oh, and Oxford while distance wise not that far is about an hour and a half away, which isn't great for a night out :(

[okay, I'm done whining for a few minutes]
* There's the West Wing, but our sole contact with them was to find out that they didn't know when the Dance class they were running was on, or indeed that they were running it.

** Discounting the Minor, too, because she wasn't meant to come out costing as much as she did, it's just discovering the disintegration of Charles Ware's completely unprotected and incorrectly shaped metalwork cost more than expected

[loopback0.livejournal.com]

I knew who Bob Paisley was. I was just testing the rest of you...

[howlsthunder.livejournal.com]

Ditto to your thoughts on Dollhouse.

I just got back from my drive through Canada. Morgan and I discussed it and we wanted to let you know that if you move to British Columbia (other than Vancouver), we will never ever visit you. X( I will post more on this in my LJ soon. ;)